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Living with Children: Unhappy tyrants are everywhere
Making children happy became a parenting goal in the early 1970s. The paradox, as everyone with a modicum of commonsense knows, is that the more effort parents put into making a child happy, the more unhappy the child becomes. Underneath the cute appearance of an infant lurks a tyrant. I would have been expelled from graduate school for writing that sentence, but as loathe as many of today’s parents are to accept it, that is the truth. Another paradox: Parents who are unwilling to accept it are the ones most likely to give the tyrant permission to step out of hiding and begin his reign of terr...
Tribune News Service
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Ex-etiquette: Done with mom, but what about the kids?
I was married for five years and had a son. We divorced a year ago, but started dating – again. She ended up pregnant — again. I asked for a DNA test prior to paying child support. They tested both kids and neither is mine. I’m done with their mother and no longer want anything to do with either of these children, but I’m feeling a little guilty, especially because I’m the only father my oldest have ever known. What’s good ex-etiquette? If you’re looking for me to say since the kids aren’t biologically yours so you’re off the hook, not only will I not say it, but legally, I can’t. Check this o...
Tribune News Service
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Paloma Faith reveals she suffered a 'postpartum psychotic outburst'
Paloma Faith suffered a "temporary postpartum psychotic outburst" and thought someone had sewn her head onto another body. The 'Picking Up the Pieces' hitmaker knew people would think she was "crazy" if she voiced what she thought had happened after she gave birth to her and partner Leyman Lahcine's daughter in December 2016 but was still convinced the bizarre swap had taken place. Paloma - who had an emergency caesarian section after suffering a womb infection and prematurely ruptured waters - told the 'Sweat, Snot & Tears' podcast: "On day three, I had a temporary postpartum psychotic outbur...
BANG Showbiz
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Ex-etiquette: Is his ex out to get me?
Q. My husband’s ex asked me what we bought their son for Christmas. Because he and his dad love baseball, I told her we bought him a jersey and tickets to a game when their team comes into town. She has remarried and celebrates Hanukkah with her new husband and wanted her son to participate in the first night. We thought that was great. Hanukkah was last week, and she bought him the exact jersey we bought him. I think she did it on purpose! My husband doesn’t think so. I’m furious. What’s good ex-etiquette? A. I’ve worked with quite a few new partners, particularly women (this is my experience...
Tribune News Service
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Ex-etiquette: Co-parenting pitfalls at the holidays
Q. My husband’s ex-wife asked if he wants to go in half on an expensive gift for their son for Christmas.Should she and her husband buy the son gifts and my husband and I buy their son gifts?We have only been married a very short while and I seem to be having questions about how normal the relationship between them is.A. The time to be asking questions and getting clear on the yes and no of co-parenting relationships is before you marry, not after. I’m sure your husband and his ex-wife are not acting any different now than they did while you were dating. Be careful. Interfering with a co-paren...
Tribune News Service
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Living with Children: Don't be afraid of your children
“Are you afraid of your child/children?” I query folks who testify to children who frequently engage in flagrant antisocial behavior – tantrums, brazen disrespect, and belligerent disobedience being the top three.I cannot recall an exception to parents – hundreds and counting – answering “Yes.” Therefore, it seems that fear of one’s child and major discipline problems are somehow related. Which came first? I suspect they develop simultaneously. Misbehavior begets anxiety, then downright fear, which begets even more outrageous misbehavior, begetting even more paralyzing fear, and so on. If pres...
Tribune News Service
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Ex-etiquette: Ideas to make video calls with the kids more engaging
Q. I lost my Thanksgiving this year and I’m afraid I’m going to lose my time over Christmas break, as well. My son and daughter, age 5 and 7, were scheduled to be with me, but because my mother lives with me and the state suggestion is to limit visitors over the holidays, their mom and I decided that they should stay with her this year. I feel like I’m losing touch. Calling on the phone or a video call falls flat. Here I’ve tried to do what’s right and cooperate with their mom, but I feel like I’m losing my kids. What’s good ex-etiquette?A. The first thing I want to do is congratulate you and ...
Tribune News Service
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ACLU sues to end conditions it claims re-torture Kansas woman on federal death row
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — The American Civil Liberties Union has sued U.S. Attorney General William Barr and others claiming the death row conditions at a Forth Worth, Texas, prison are re-torturing Lisa Montgomery, who awaits a December execution.The ACLU contends in the lawsuit filed in the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia earlier this month that the conditions violate her Eighth Amendment rights, which protects her from cruel and unusual punishments. The ACLU also contends that prison officials are discriminating against her based on her disability.In addition to Barr, the lawsuit ...
The Kansas City Star
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Ex-etiquette: Give thanks for this invitation
Q. My ex’s husband just reached out to invite me to join them for Thanksgiving dinner. We have been divorced for six years and have had our ups and downs. It’s mostly up now. They have been married for three and a half years and have recently added a baby. The kids are with them this year, they know I am alone, and I think it’s their way of extending an olive branch. Should I go? What’s good ex-etiquette?A. Key word? Should. Should is used to “indicate obligation, duty, or correctness.” Based on that, it is neither your obligation nor duty to attend Thanksgiving dinner at your ex’s home. Corre...
Tribune News Service
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Living with Children: Grandparents fed up
Q: We sent our daughter a recent article of yours hoping it might cause her to rethink her approach to raising our grandson. It was not well-received and she is no longer speaking to us. The child, age 4, is quite ill-behaved. Our daughter makes one excuse after another for him: He was premature, he was hospitalized as a toddler and now has PTSD, he might have a biochemical imbalance, and so on. We feel that his real and only problem is lack of discipline. For example, when he’s with us, he’s perfectly well-behaved. We love our grandson, but don’t like being around him when his parents are run...
Tribune News Service
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