afghanistan
Ex-president Donald Trump’s followers attend his rallies primarily to be entertained. For years, like the proud owner of a pack of vicious dogs, he has gained their adoration by throwing them vast quantities of fresh red meat. Q2 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more Donald Trump's Worst PerformanceSadly, his act has been growing stale, even boring. His performance last Saturday in Perry, Georgia, may have been his worst in recent memory. His speech was largely recycled from the one he had given five weeks earlier in Cullman, Alabama. The amen contingent of presumably hired young Black...
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In hisDaily Market Notes report to investors, while commenting on China winning the economic war, Louis Navellier wrote: Q2 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more ISM/Jobs DataThe ISM on Friday reported that its non-manufacturing, services index decelerated to 61.7 in August, down from an all-time high of 64.1 in July. The good news is that all 17 industries surveyed expanded in August and this was the 15th straight month the ISM service index reported an expansion (above 50). One of reasons that the ISM services index decelerated was that the business activity component decelerated to ...
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Top Taliban command a.k.a. The new Afghanistan government has begun drafting new legislation and sharing it with the international community. However, a shocking discovery was made when it was made clear it was just Texas’ penal code copy + pasted and translated to Arabic. Q2 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more Disclaimer: This is a satirical article. Taliban Government Imposes Original And Great Laws In AfghanistanThe Taliban government called these laws “Original and great laws that will govern the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan.” Texas Governor Greg Abbott has not responded for co...
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Taliban leaders have just released news that they have set up a lost and found to aid Joe Biden in finding the billions of dollars’ worth of military equipment left behind in Afghanistan. Q2 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more Disclaimer: This is a satirical article. Taliban Feel Indebted To Joe BidenA spokesperson for the Taliban’s new lost and found division, Morhgoatdik Inma’assie, has provided details at a recent Taliban community outreach and beheading event. Reporters were told that the Taliban feel indebted to Joe Biden due to his excellent planning and leadership in the surre...
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“It just wasn’t worth it, why did I waste my life as an impoverished freedom fighter when I could have made millions selling opium to infidels.” Taliban Lieutenant Ahmed Abbas tweeted before taking his life. “This place is just such a shit hole,” he continued. Q2 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more Disclaimer: This is a satirical article. Taliban Regret Taking Over AfghanistanWondering why Allah would have them life in such a shitty homeland, many Taliban are realizing that their lives were better in the caves of Pakistan than Kabul and are overwhelmed with the disappointment. “I was...
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President Joe Biden announced in a bizarre, poorly timed press conference that he chose to end the war in Afghanistan in order to focus the nation’s defenses on other security problems, namely China. Q2 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more Disclaimer: This is a satirical article. “Sometimes…. You just have to know when… You know… When it is time…. Time to…. Time to call it quits… You know?” Said a seemingly bewildered President Biden. Biden Defends Decision to Leave AfghanistanAfter laboring through several minutes of stammering contradictions, Biden got to the meat and potatoes of hi...
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Airbnb saw an opportunity to render support when turmoil spread across Afghanistan as the U.S. announced withdrawal of military forces. Q2 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more The company offered to temporarily house as many as 20,000 Afghan refugees globally, with Airbnb’s chief executive expressing hope that others would be inspired to follow the company’s lead. The move was just one example of how many multinational corporations have robust corporate responsibility programs that can move with lightning speed to respond quickly and effectively when disaster strikes. But it’s not jus...
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In hisDaily Market Notes report to investors, while commenting on the strong stock market performance, Louis Navellier wrote: Q2 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more Strong Stock Market Performance In AugustThe stock market has been surprisingly strong this August since it exploded to the upside last Friday during option expiration day. Bespoke Investment Group documented on Wednesday that the S&P 500 (SPY) in the past year surged 79.8% during which gains occurred more often on trading days with “below average volume” than on trading days with “above average volume.” That means when v...
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In hisDaily Market Notes report to investors, while commenting on the angry NATO allies, Louis Navellier wrote: Q2 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more Angry NATO AlliesOur NATO allies are not very happy with the impending August 31st withdrawal from Afghanistan. In fact, in a stunning rebuke of U.S. foreign policy, the British Parliament last week held an emergency session that condemned both Prime Minister Boris Johnson and President Joe Biden. Specifically, Parliament cited that the failure to intervene and protect the Afghanistan government from imminent collapse as an intelligenc...
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NYSE TRADING FLOOR, New York – After a blood-red Monday, the market is seemingly has trended upwards upon the realization that Afghanistan, a nation recently taken over by terror group the Taliban is located in the middle east. Q2 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more Disclaimer: This is a satirical article. Talibans In Afghanistan Do Not Pose A Threat To America“My boss has been telling us to sell all week, thinking these Taliban guys are gonna 9/11 us again or something,” one anonymous Goldman Sachs Junior Analyst told The Stonk Market. “One of our guys sat down to tell the boss the ...
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