taliban
Top Taliban command a.k.a. The new Afghanistan government has begun drafting new legislation and sharing it with the international community. However, a shocking discovery was made when it was made clear it was just Texas’ penal code copy + pasted and translated to Arabic. Q2 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more Disclaimer: This is a satirical article. Taliban Government Imposes Original And Great Laws In AfghanistanThe Taliban government called these laws “Original and great laws that will govern the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan.” Texas Governor Greg Abbott has not responded for co...
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“It just wasn’t worth it, why did I waste my life as an impoverished freedom fighter when I could have made millions selling opium to infidels.” Taliban Lieutenant Ahmed Abbas tweeted before taking his life. “This place is just such a shit hole,” he continued. Q2 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more Disclaimer: This is a satirical article. Taliban Regret Taking Over AfghanistanWondering why Allah would have them life in such a shitty homeland, many Taliban are realizing that their lives were better in the caves of Pakistan than Kabul and are overwhelmed with the disappointment. “I was...
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“We want the “Real Housewives USA” not “George Floyd USA.” After being resettled in the slums of St. Louis, a number of Afghanis fleeing the horrors of the Taliban have requested to return home, “the devil we know is better than this awful place,” one refugee who asked not to be identified told Stonk news. “And why did we have to watch Nancy Pelosi speeches the whole way here, what are democrats? They are so annoying, I hate them already.” Q2 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more Numerous refugees insisted they be allowed back on returning empty C-130s. This post first appeared on The ...
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NYSE TRADING FLOOR, New York – After a blood-red Monday, the market is seemingly has trended upwards upon the realization that Afghanistan, a nation recently taken over by terror group the Taliban is located in the middle east. Q2 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more Disclaimer: This is a satirical article. Talibans In Afghanistan Do Not Pose A Threat To America“My boss has been telling us to sell all week, thinking these Taliban guys are gonna 9/11 us again or something,” one anonymous Goldman Sachs Junior Analyst told The Stonk Market. “One of our guys sat down to tell the boss the ...
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The fast-evolving situation in Afghanistan must be added to investors’ growing list of global issues to track as stock markets digest that the Taliban are back in power, warns the CEO of one of the world’s largest independent financial advisory, asset management and fintech organisations. Q2 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more The warning from Nigel Green, chief executive and founder of deVere Group, follows the Taliban quickly seizing the capital Kabul where thousands of civilians desperate to flee thronged the airport. The Removal Of American Troops From AfghanistanIt came after U....
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TALIBAN CONTROLLED KABUL, Afghanistan – Recently captured Kabul, now under Taliban rule, has made the Taliban the controlling interest of Afghanistan. With Afghanistan’s government dissolving, the Taliban have become the interim, and for the foreseeable future, government. Q2 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more Disclaimer: This is a satirical article. Taliban Welcome Western Crypto EntrepreneursThe Taliban have wasted no time creating new policies and laws, one representative for the Taliban gave in a statement exclusively to The Stonk Market said, “The Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan...
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KABUL, AFGHANISTAN – As the two decades long US occupation of Afghanistan draws to a close and the transition of power nears completion, the streets are abuzz with curious Afghans with how their new government will lead the country forward. [soros] Q2 2021 hedge fund letters, conferences and more Disclaimer: This is a satirical article. Taliban Bring Commission-Free Arms TradingI sat down with a group of Taliban leaders to discuss this. One of the more intriguing policy points that the group plans to introduce – with immediate effect – is a spin on a Western inspired idea: commission-free arms...
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