By Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO — Donald Trump claims New York communists (i.e. Democrats) will be seated on his jury and convict him despite the overwhelming evidence of his innocence. The prosecution worries that pro-Trump fanatics will lie about their political views to be seated on his jury and cause a hung jury despite overwhelming evidence of his guilt. For a juror to be totally unbiased in this case, he or she or they must be:
— Someone who sustained a head injury and has suffered from amnesia since 2015.
— A Jew who thinks MAGA is the name of an Israeli martial art.
–A person who has never read anything in the newspapers and social media and never heard or watched news on a computer, radio, smartphone, and television.
–A citizen who has never voted or expressed a political opinion during their lifetime.
–An embryo that has been frozen for 18 years after fertilization whose personhood entitles it to vote.
–A player in a word association game saying weather when the hint is Stormy, animal when the hint is Fox, coffee when the hint is Joe, and bridge when the hint is Trump.
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Baron is professor emeritus at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com
