Cooking. It’s an art everyone has to master at one point or another. But on the road to cooking mastery, we’re all bound to have a few, erm, accidents along the way. That’s what we learned on Twitter last week when the hashtag #おヘタクソ(“Competition for the worst cook”) made it to the top of the list.
Brace yourself, epic pics are coming
Japanese people are quite enthusiastic when it comes to making food look fun. But the scientific complexity of cooking can quickly turn what should have been kawaii(cute) into a monstrous creation.
“Pie No Mi” is a famous snack in Japanof mini pastries filled with chocolate. This person has made their own version in the shape of what we’re guessing was supposed to be Pikachu projectile vomiting.
パイのみたいになるだった = It was supposed to be something like Pie no Mi
Slime is the mascot of the Dragon Questrole-playing video gamefranchise. Here he is fresh out of the oven looking like he’s drunk six pints of sake.
スライムできt…！し、んでる…= I’ve made Slimes… D…Dying…*
OK. These cookies below actually looked pretty good before the passing of time ruined them.
のちゃんとしました… = The next day was successful…
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from these terrifying cupcakes.
りにはいかない = Can’t make it like the model
We can’t even begin to fathom what this hideousness below was supposed to be. Is it a sumo wrestler? What’s with the bacon diaper?
5000りだな…のをうのは…とかいそう = “Breathing in (the earth’s air) for the first time in 5000 years…” I can almost hear him saying…
This person discovered the secret ingredient to their parents’ signature tuna rice dish: a spoon.
のもお料理ヘタクソ選手権エントリーるぞ
がせばいいじゃないんだよ はスプーンも
にきんでしまうシーチキンごなんだよ。
My folks can enter the competition for the worst cooks, too. Not only the food is burnt, but we’re now facing a new era of tuna rice cooked with spoon…
Last but not least, lots of aspiring chefs should maybe review the basics to avoid burning their kitchen to the ground.
これはえたパスタとしたカルシファー = Pictures of burning pasta and the sudden appearance of Calcifer
Calcifer is the fire demon from the Studio Ghibli movieHowl’s Moving Castle.
How to express following an example or instructions in Japanese
Are recipes really necessary? The debate stands between those who love to improvise and those who’d rather follow the instructions in the cookbook. In Japanese, when you want to express following (or not) an example or instructions you’ve been given, you use the word り.
You’ll generally translate the expression with “as” or “like” in “do as”, “do like in”.
- V (casual form) + 通り
さっきがった通りにしてください = Please do as I’ve said before
- Nの + 通り
の通りにってください = Please use as instructed in the manual
- N + 通り
お通りけない = I can’t write like the model shows (for example when you are writing kanji)
パイの実 pai no mi Pie No Mi (a Japanese snack brand) みたい mitai like になる ni naru become 予定 yotei (a) plan, expected, intended スライム suraimu Slime (from Dragon Quest) できる dekiru able (to do something) 死ぬ shinu die 次の日 tsugi no hi next day ちゃんと chanto precisely, perfectly 成功する seikou suru succeed 見本 mihon model, sample 通り toori like, as にはいかない ni ha ikanai cannot, doesn’t happen (~as planned, as suggested) X年振り nenburi for the first time in X years… 地球 chukyuu Earth 空気 kuuki air 吸う suu breath 言う iu say 私 watashi I 親 oya parents エントリー entorii entry 焦げる kogeru burn 時代 jidai era スプーン supuun spoon 一緒に isshoni together 炊き込む takikomu cook something with rice シーチキン shiichikin canned tuna ご飯 gohan rice, meal 燃える moeru burn パスタ pasuta pasta 突如 totsujo abruptly, suddenly 出現する shutsugen appear カルシファー karushifaa Calcifer (from Howl’s Moving Castle) さっき sakki earlier, just now 説明書 setsumeisho manual 作る tsukuru make 手本 tehon model, copybook 書く kaku write
For more on learning Japanese
- Learn Japanese with our original study materials on GaijinPot Study
- Questions about studying Japanese in Japan? Take a look at the Japan 101 section on Higher Education and Studying Japanese
- Join our GaijinPot Study Facebook groupto connect with fellow learners
- Learn more about the GaijinPot Study Placement Program
