We had read and watched so much about COVID-19 that when it hit us, we were not sure if we were really experiencing the symptoms or just hallucinating.
By a storyteller and emotional health activist
It was May 26, the day of Eid, and we were enjoying the feast in our Gurugram apartment when my father-in-law complained about feeling feverish. Since he was undergoing treatment for a lung infection and anxious about his health, we immediately arranged for a video consultation with his doctor. After inquiring about the symptoms and recommending a chest X-ray, the doctor ruled out the possibility of COVID-19.
The next day, my mother-in-law and house help complained of fever. They attributed it to exhaustion due to fasting and change of weather. As someone suffering from a urinary tract infection and ovarian cyst for the past few months, I was accustomed to living with mild fevers.
On May 28, we began putting the pieces together when my husband Shakeb said that he felt extremely low on energy. This was accompanied by mild fever and bouts of anger. That’s when I suggested he get tested for COVID-19. We rang up several hospitals and labs to request for home testing, but it was futile! They insisted that he come over and get himself tested.
While we were still waiting for my husband’s test results, our two-year-old daughter developed a low-grade fever. By then, all of us at home had a fever, except my seven-year-old son. We had read and watched so much about COVID-19 that when it hit us, we were not sure if we were really experiencing the symptoms or just hallucinating.
When the test results arrived on May 31, we finally knew that all our symptoms were real. Now the question was: Since he tested positive, were we positive too? Getting to the answer was an ordeal as the Delhi- Gurugram border was sealed from June 1. After hundreds of requests, constant tweets, and phone calls, we were tested through a private facility. On June 2, we got to know that we all were COVID positive.
By then, we had lost all sense of taste, smell, and were low on energy. There was so much fatigue that we all would just lie in bed the whole day long. My son would check all our temperatures and note them down.
My father-in-law’s oxygen levels started dropping and finding a hospital bed was a nightmare! He had co-morbidities and it was critical to get him to a hospital soon. However, it wasn’t until 10 pm that an ambulance came to fetch him. We were totally drained and anxious but trying to put up a brave face.
The next day, at around 2:30 pm, I woke up hearing some noise in the kitchen. It was my hungry two-year-old pulling a footrest towards the kitchen counter to fetch a roti lying in an aluminium foil. In that moment, I realised that no matter what happens to me, my kids will survive.
I don’t fear anything now. I live with a lot of positivity. Those dark days have given me the strength, faith, and ability to understand myself and how much I love my family. It made me realise that I need to stop existing in echo chambers. It made me ask myself ‘who am I?’ It made me discern what I truly want in life.
(As told to Nabeela Khan)
