Dating apps have done well in Japan, where even the government is looking into some AI magic to boost its birth rate. Nowadays, singles, young and old (and free spirits), have all dipped their fingers into the world of online dating.
But not all dates are worth the time or energy. Some may even be creepy enough that you’ll want to delete your app asap.
Akari (@akarirenai77) is a university student who tweeted about her experience with finding a boyfriend after matching with 200 men through dating apps. In a recent tweet, she shared the four worst guys she unfortunately encountered on her journey to find love.
The worst four
私の実体験から紹介する
マッチングアプリで出会ったやばい男性まとめ
“Based on my personal experience, here’s a summary of the worst men I’ve met through dating apps.
1. でをうモラハラ男性
The moral harasser who made rude remarks for over an hour on our first phone call.
2. のがしている
An 18-year-old high schooler.
3. デートでごをべにったときわたしのをなく食べる男性
The guy who ate my food without asking on our first date.
4. をうわたしのんでいるのりでちせしている男性
The guy who ambushed me at the nearest station to my place pretending it was a coincidence.”
Let’s talk about stalking
The first three profiles are definitely not soulmate material, but the last guy is a potential stalker. Stalking is not specific to Japan, but it became recognized as a serious issue after the murder of Shiori Ino.
Cases such as this led to Japan’s Anti Stalking Act, and since then, authorities have been collecting data. The number of cases has steadily increased since 2002, but it can be a sign that victims feel more and more comfortable to speak up. In 2018, the Japanese police reported 21,556 stalking cases and 87.9% of the victims are women. The Japanese law has roughly defined eight categories of stalking behaviors under the legal expression つきまとい等 (following, pursuing, etc.).
Go directly to a central police station and with a friend if possible.
Stalking (ストーカー行為) is characterized by the repetition of these behaviors towards one person. Ambushing you near your home, following you to work, emailing or calling you repeatedly, sending you nasty packages or any other one-sided action displaying the pursuit of an intimate relationship is a criminal offense punishable by imprisonment and fines.
If you believe you are stalked, open up to people you trust. Take note of every event in a chronological journal and protect yourself with these practical tips for dealing with a stalker. If you are comfortable with the idea, contact the Japanese authorities. You can go to your local police box (こうばん), but police have been known not to take stalking seriously. If you feel this is the case, go directly to a central police station and with a friend if possible.
Essential vocabulary to know
Here are the eight categories of stalking behavior and associated vocabulary.
- Following a person
つきまとう tsukimatou Follow 待ち伏せする machibuse suru Ambush 立ちふさがる tachifusagaru Block the way 見張る miharu Guard, watch a place 押し掛ける oshikakeru Intrude (a workplace, at school…)
- Letting a person know they’re being watched
監視する kanshi suru Monitor 監視される kanshi sareru Being monitored 告げる tsugeru Tell (by phone, letter, email…)
- Request to meet and date
面会 menkai Meeting 交際 kousai Date 要求する youkyuu suru Request
- Violent speech and behavior
怒鳴られる donarareru Being yelled at 乱暴な行動 ranbouna koudou Violent behavior 粗暴な内容のメール sobouna naiyou no meeru Email with rough content
- Repeat use of communication tools
無限電話 mugendenwa Silent phone call 連続した電話 renzoku shita denwa Consecutive phone call 何度も電話をかけてくる nandomo denwa o kaketekuru Make phone calls many times 執拗に嫌がらせ shitsuyouni iyagarase Relentless harassment
- Sending offensive package
汚物 obutsu Waste, filth 動物の死体 doubutsu no shitai Dead animal 不快 fukai Unpleasant, uncomfortable 嫌悪の情を催させる keno no jyou o moyoossaseru Making one feels disgusted
- Slander
中傷する chyuushyou suru Slander 名誉を傷つける meiyo o kizutsukeru Hurt one’s reputation
- Sexual misconduct
わいせつな写真を送る waisetsuna shashin o okuru Send obscene picture 卑わいな言葉を告げる hiwaina kotoba o tsugeru Tell foul words (by phone, letter, message…)
More vocabulary
実体験 jittaiken Real experience 出会う deau Meet 初電話 hatsudenwa First phone call 嫌味 iyami Sarcasm モラハラ morahara Moral harassment 初デート hatsu deeto First date 偶然 guuzen Coincidence 装う yosou Pretend 最寄り駅 moyori eki Nearest station
