A peek into the mental health chronicles of four people who availed of psychotherapy during the pandemic – to understand their unique journeys and learnings from the experience.
By Jisha Krishnan
“Psychotherapy is not advice,” writes clinical psychologist Jorden B. Peterson in his bestseller 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos. The pandemic gave many of us the opportunity to discover what therapy truly entails – through personal experiences as well as lived experiences of people in our personal and professional circles.
In the first year of the COVID-19 outbreak, the global prevalence of anxiety and depression increased by a massive 25 percent, according to a scientific brief released by the World Health Organization (WHO) in March 2022. It’s not surprising then that an increasing number of people – many who otherwise may not have done so – sought mental health care.
Health Analytics Asia spoke to a diverse section of people who availed of psychotherapy during the pandemic to understand their unique journeys and learnings from the experience. Here’s a glimpse into the personal stories of four such people, who were willing to reveal their identities and give us a peek into their mental health chronicles.
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‘I wish they had tried to ask why’
Ashish Kumar, 33, describes himself as someone who carefully evaluates the value of something before investing in it. Despite having a history of mental health issues in the family, the public relations professional from Greater Noida didn’t think much of psychotherapy. Until COVID-induced lockdowns became the norm and things started falling apart.
First session: I signed up for an online therapy session (the first was free of cost). The therapist was wonderful. She asked me a lot of questions. There was an instant connect. If that session didn’t work, I wouldn’t have continued with therapy.
Looking back: Why was I struggling? It was a mix of many things. I’m an overthinker – there was financial anxiety, pandemic stress, health issues, weight gain, increased screen time, and, maybe, side effects of medications.
The thing about therapy: When the stories we tell ourselves no longer work, we need someone to help us tell them better. We need someone who is really invested in our journey, with zero judgement. I hadn’t told my family initially about seeking therapy; but when I did, there was no reaction. I wish they had tried to ask why.
Biggest learning: Many of our issues do actually have a connection with our childhood. Therapy helped me identify the triggers that caused a series of negative emotions. My tendency to just cut off and shut the world out, for example. I believe it has also changed me as a parent; I’m a lot more thoughtful.
Word of advice: Therapy is a (relatively) low-cost solution. It’s like having a good conversation. It won’t harm you. Worst-case scenario, it won’t work.
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‘It takes courage to ask for help’
Shruthi Shetty, 42, takes pride in being a multi-tasker. To-do lists give her a sense of purpose, says the Bengaluru-based HR professional and mother of two teenagers. Nonetheless, as the list got lengthier and murkier during the pandemic – with everyone at home struggling to work, to study, to cope with the new normal – Shruthi could no longer maintain “the facade of a superwoman who has it all under control”.
First session: The sole reason I attended the online session with a therapist the office had got onboard was my boss’s insistence. I had no intention of sharing anything personal. I thought of asking for some stress management tips and getting it over with. Guess what? I ended up telling her things – some painful, some embarrassing – that I have never said out loud. It was cathartic.
Looking back: I have always been a people pleaser. What I didn’t know was that the constant need for validation from others was a sign of dependent personality disorder. It made me re-evaluate all my relationships, including the one with myself.
The thing about therapy: Active listening is priceless. When someone gives you a patient and empathetic ear, you can share your vulnerabilities. It takes courage to ask for help. My therapist helped me to address a lot of issues that I had been struggling with even before the pandemic – insomnia, anxiety, guilt, resentment.
Biggest learning: It’s healthy to say ‘no’ and set clear boundaries. I started prioritising my own needs.
Word of advice: Don’t wait for the façade to crumble. Even when you seem to be functioning well, professionally and personally, you know your reality. Don’t live in denial. Reach out.
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‘Everyone deserves self-love’
Melroy D’souza, 19, is a man of few words. He seems wise beyond his years. There’s no mention of missing the experience of college life, or the celebration of a milestone birthday in the year when the virus upended our lives. “We all suffered. The pandemic hasn’t spared anyone,” says the aspiring graphic designer from Mumbai.
First session: My parents were worried about me. They got me an appointment with a therapist – I went along, reluctantly. The first session was okay. There was no eureka moment. Still, when the therapist asked me to see him next week, I agreed. It took me two more sessions to get comfortable, but he was patient.
Looking back: I don’t know when the suicidal thoughts first started. By October 2020, I was consumed by them. I couldn’t sleep, eat, study. It was exhausting.
The thing about therapy: It is like going on an exploration into your mind with a stranger, who is competent and non-judgemental. You discover things, you connect the dots, you learn to let go, you become more self-aware.
Biggest learning: You don’t need to be perfect to practice self-love. Everyone deserves self-love.
Word of advice: Express your emotions. Sometimes, it’s easier to talk to a stranger, better still a professional who understands the workings of the human mind.
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‘Things will get difficult before they get easy’
Abeen Shayiq, 26, didn’t think she would visit a mental health professional – again. Former experiences with a psychologist in her college and later, with a psychiatrist, had left a bad taste in her mouth. However, when the pandemic hit, “the situation got escalated”, says the Kashmir-based content specialist.
First session: I didn’t know from where to start…There was so much to say! As an introvert, it was a big deal for me to talk to someone so comfortably, to be able to share anything and everything in a safe space.
Looking back: I had lots of things to process. I was battling anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (after years of trauma). The pandemic heightened the uncertainty, nightmares, and feeling of suffocation because I was stuck in the place where the trauma took place.
The thing about therapy: It’s not a fixed prescription. You can take things slow, go at your own pace – as long as you are getting somewhere. It can get overwhelming; there will be moments of self-doubt. Things will get difficult before they get easy. The patient has to be patient.
Biggest learning: You need to find the right therapist. I’m glad that my friend recommended this therapist. She asked me specific questions and I saw how my coping mechanisms were not very healthy.
Word of advice: The mind can get chaotic. There’s no harm in giving therapy a try. If it doesn’t work, you can leave whenever you decide to.
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Ashish and Shruthi don’t need therapy any more. They concur that the insights and strategies they gained from their respective experiences have made them more confident about navigating difficult emotions, stress, uncertainty, and more. Melroy and Abeen continue to actively learn healthy ways to spend time with themselves, to look inward, to cope with stress, to connect with others, with the help of their therapists.In an ideal world, this would qualify as a happy ending to the four stories. Unfortunately, the world we live in is far from ideal. We are yet to normalise seeking professional help for mental health issues. Until that happens, there will be countless people who will continue to suffer in silence, live in shame, and hopelessly long for someone to share their stories with.
To quote Jorden B. Peterson, “It’s amazing what people will tell you if you listen.”
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