There’s a new theory going around on TikTok, prompting men to open up about their first-ever romantic experience and the person they fell in love with.
The new trend that sees men showcase their vulnerable side follows the Taxi Cab Theory – men willing to be with the first woman they meet when they have their “light on”, which refers to their readiness to settle into a long-term relationship.
TikTok theory says men never forget their first love
Everybody on TikTok is talking about their first love, an experience that can never be forgotten.
The theory suggests that men, especially, tend to idolize their first romantic partner and compare all their future partners with the first person they dated seriously.
The theory says they can never truly “get over” the first woman they fell in love with, and their experiences are further tied to factors such as rejection, trauma, and painful memories if the relationship ends badly.
Some men set the benchmark so high in their first-ever relationship that they can never feel as wholesome in the following romantic experiences.
We spoke to dating expert James Preece to understand the psychology behind this, and turns out, women and people of other genders can feel similarly about their first love, as the emotions that drive them are almost the same regardless of who is involved.
James told The Focus that the first “true love” will always have the biggest impact on anybody because there’s nothing to compare it to form prior.
“You lived the experience and it eventually ended, so you went through the whole cycle of emotions including joy and grief. First love can be profound. Therefore, it makes sense that this will be the bar that is set for all your next relationships,” he explained.
As for the belief that men idealize their first relationship, the dating expert said: “Nostalgia is also a powerful thing, and we can look back on the past with rose-tinted glasses and gloss over the bad times. This means that comparisons can be unfair.”
But, does the First Love Theory apply to all daters? James says that’s not entirely true. “As we get older and mature emotionally, new relationships will help evolve our sense and quality of love.”
“While the First Love Theory may be true for many people – every situation is different, and some memories/relationships will have more impact than others. This is regardless of sex,” the expert noted.
Similarly, men on TikTok have stated different reasons for remembering their first love.
When one TikTok user said: “I remember her because of the trauma she caused, but I’ll never love him again.
“It doesn’t matter how good or toxic your first relationship was. It will always hold a special place in your heart. It’s a thought you genuinely care about,” said another.
Women aren’t too pleased by the idea
The popular theory may resonate with men and everyone else, but some women are rather creeped out by the thought of being remembered by their ex-boyfriend forever.
A lot of them lived under the assumption that memories of the romantic past weren’t of any relevance in the present day until the new theory surfaced.
Now, women are dreading the thought of having a permanent place in their ex-lover’s minds, which they could live without.
“The First Love Theory on TikTok is all fun until you realize you were your ex-boyfriend’s first girlfriend,” said one.
When another added: “Just found out about the First Love Theory and I am plain sad. I don’t want to be remembered by my ex-lover.”
“Damn. I should have realized when my ex was trying to crawl back into my life,” said another.
